What are you carrying that you don’t need?
Hello Friend!
Seven years ago this week, I stopped drinking.
Not a single drop since. Not a single regret about the decision.
It started as a 28-day challenge. A small experiment after watching “A Star is Born.” I wasn’t rock bottom. I was just... stuck. And honestly, I didn’t have a problem. But I didn’t have a solution either.
Here’s what I’ve learned: The things we think are helping us cope are often the things keeping us small.
That one small change unlocked everything. Clearer thinking. Better presence. More energy for what actually mattered. Seven years in, I'm still opening doors that were closed before.
Not because I quit drinking. But because I started questioning my defaults.
The Defaults We Don't Examine
We all have them. The unexamined assumptions about how we’re supposed to live and work. They showed up somewhere along the way. From culture. From family. From that first boss who shaped how we think about success. And we never revisited them.
The 60-hour work week that proves you’re serious. The belief that self-care is selfish. The idea that slowing down means falling behind. The coping mechanism that’s become a crutch. The career path you chose at 22 that you're still defending at 52.
Research on holistic wellbeing tells us that we need to pay attention to four interconnected areas: physical, mental, emotional, and social health. But most executives I work with are focused on exactly one: professional achievement. They’ve built entire lives around a single metric.
What if the thing you’re most proud of is also the thing that’s keeping you stuck?
The Pattern I Keep Seeing
Here’s what I notice working with midlife executives: They've been successful by any conventional measure. They’ve climbed. They’ve built. They’ve proven themselves a thousand times over.
But somewhere along the way, the defaults stopped serving them. The relentless pace that got them promoted is now costing them their health. The hyper-independence that made them a “go-to” leader is isolating them from real connection. The always-on availability that showed commitment is bleeding into every corner of their lives.
And the scariest part? They don’t even question it anymore. It’s just “how things are.”
Until something breaks. Or someone leaves. Or the doctor delivers news that makes everything else feel small.
Try This
You don’t need to quit drinking or blow up your career to unlock a better Chapter 2. You just need to start questioning.
Ask yourself: What am I carrying that I don’t actually need?
Look at your physical health. Are you treating your body like it’s 25 when it needs something different at this stage.
Examine your work patterns. Which “must-do’s” are actually just old muscle memory from a career phase you've already outgrown?
Check your emotional defaults. What stories are you still telling yourself about what makes you valuable, worthy, or successful?
Audit your relationships. Are you still showing up the way people need you to, or the way you think you’re supposed to?
The defaults that got you here won't get you to a fuller, freer Chapter 2. But questioning them will.
I’m not preaching abstinence from anything. I’m just inviting you to notice the pattern: Sometimes the unlock isn’t about adding more. It’s about releasing what you've been gripping too tightly.
What are you holding onto that’s not serving you anymore? Hit reply and let me know. I read every response.
Your coach,
Chris
P.S. If you need someone to help you sort through what’s worth keeping and what’s worth releasing, I’ve got a 30-minute call with your name on it. No pitch, just brainstorming. Let’s chat.
